The "It" List

So the "It" list is basically an ever evolving log of qualities and factors you want from an eventual relationship.

I've made several of these throughout the years, and I think in a lot of ways, putting into words what it is exactly that you want from a relationship when you find one is very useful

On a practical level, chronicling the process of self discovery in love and romance helps you discover what is important to you. Through trial and error and finding out what you don't want from a relationship, you figure out exactly what it is that you do want.

On a cosmic level, when you realize and decide what you want, you send out vibes that bring those things to you. Some call it prayer, others "The Secret" or law of attraction, but we can engage in this without consciously intending to because it is a natural part of who we are as people. The conscious action of it, however, is much more powerful than the unconscious.

I recently found my most up to date version of my list and decided to share it in hopes that it might be a good example to follow for those of you out there who have not yet found the partner who suits you. Mine exists in two parts, Things I Want From a Relationship, which are concepts with dictionary definitions (I found the definitions helped me to focus on exactly what the word meant by giving it a concrete meaning) and Things I Want the Person I am Dating to Do. 

Things I Want From a Relationship:

Adventure: An unusual and exciting, typically hazardous experience or activity; an undertaking usually involving danger and unknown risks

Eroticism: Sexual desire or excitement


Excitement: A feeling of great enthusiasm and eagerness

Honesty: Truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness; freedom from deceit or fraud

Love: A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person

Respect: A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements; Willingness to show consideration or appreciation

Passion: Boundless enthusiasm; Showing or expressing strong emotion

Romance: A feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love; A strong attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for something.

Security: The state of being free from danger or threat.

Stability: Constancy of character or purpose; steadfastness; reliability; dependability

Support: To keep from weakening or failing; strengthen; To aid the cause, policy, or interests of; to give aid or courage to


I Want the Person I Am Dating To:
Be proud to be with me
Appreciate the things that I do, both big and small
Be honest with me always
Want me
Love and accept me for who I am
Enhance my life
Expose me to new things
Feel free to express themselves 

Consider my feelings

Share mutual interests but also have differing ones of his own 

Be able to talk about small issues before they become big issues

I have gotten all of these things and more, so it does work, you just have to be open to the process and willing to work towards your desires.