The Scorpion and the Turtle

A scorpion, being a very poor swimmer, asked a turtle to carry him on his back across a river.

"Are you mad?" exclaimed the turtle, "You'll sting me while I'm swimming, and I'll drown."

"My dear turtle, " laughed the scorpion, "if I were to sting you, you would drown and I would go down with you. Now where is the logic in that?"

"You're right!" cried the turtle. "Hop on!"

The Scorpion climbed aboard and halfway across the river gave the turtle a mighty sting. As they both sank to the bottom, the turtle resignedly said:

"Do you mind if I ask you something? You said there'd be no logic in you stinging me. Why did you do it?"

"It has nothing to do with logic," the drowning scorpion sadly replied. "It's just my character."

This is an old fable that I did not originally pen, of course, but it is a good example of three things.

1. People do not change their core natures.

2. If you know someone's nature, you should trust them to act on that nature. 

3. If you trust someone when they say they will act differently from their nature then you do so at your own peril and should not be surprised when they do not follow through.

The main lesson in all of this as relates to my own journey is that I am trusting to a fault. Time and time again I've given the scorpion the benefit of the doubt when I knew that it would sting me, but I always hope to be able to bring out the best in people. My theory is that I'd rather ere on the side of being wrong about someone who is trying to trick me or who is going to harm me regardless of whether they mean to or not than to falsely judge someone who is honestly trying to change and only needed someone to give them that opportunity in order to grow and become someone better.

But where has that really gotten me? Stung. . . . a lot.

So at the end of the day what was a nice theory about giving people trust because they might change is now the resolution to myself that I will only from this moment forward trust people who truly deserve it. When someone proves themselves to you over and over again to be untrustworthy, you don't trust them. It seems so simple, but to someone like me, it feels odd.

At a certain point, though, like the one where I am in my life right now, you have to learn to protect yourself first and worry about others later. 

Because you can't ferry anyone across the river when you're laying belly up at the bottom.